Death, life and a secret garden by Marina Zrnic©

 

"One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows sometimes when he gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands alone and throws one´s head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale blue sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes me cry out and one´s heart stands still at the strange majesty of the rising of the sun- which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands years. One knows it then for a moment or so. 

And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries."

The Secret Garden

Frances Hodgson Burnett

There are many ways to understand life, but there is only one way to see death. 

Death cannot be understood, it can only be seen. Its breathing and existence becomes magically real and logical through the sound of the wind in the foliage. Deep in the woods, we see death through the bees and butterflies, through the colours of the flowers and through the first moonlight on the ground. Our simplified culture shows us that life is a part of life, but unfortunately it does not show us that also death is a part of life. 

"No life remains without the fruit".  We rise above ourselves as much as we can, we stand on our fingertips and we touch that mellow and well rounded fruit on a tree, we give birth, we say and produce, we hate and we destroy. All that we do is the fruit of our lives. Our spiritual recognition is what makes the fruit ripen. If there's no spiritual recognition, the fruit stays green and stiff. It does not necessarily mean that is bad. It just cannot reach its perfection, the sweet and enchanting taste of a perfectly made fruit. 

We develop our inner world through nature and through suffering. We walk with our bare feet touching the ground and we grow our roots deep into the same soil.

When we suffer, there is a whole dimension opening inside of us and the another one closing and it is never to be opened again. When we suffer, we realise how deep life is and how utterly profound hurt can be. 

Sometimes, we drown. Some do not survive. Sometimes, we live. Life prevails and drives us out of the depth with some conclusions. These conclusions are never conscious and never to be made of anything material. These conclusions are a sort of stains on our skin which cannot be removed, stains which are to differ you in the mass of immaculate and stainless skins.

Knowing death and suffering is like opening the door of a secret garden and seeing all the bees and birds and hearing a robin singing on a branch. Knowing death and suffering gives you that perfect opportunity to enjoy and taste happiness and joy now, at the moment. It gives you the opportunity to touch and love all stains, shades and spots. 

“He spoke of many things, he seemed anxious before the moment of death to say everything he had not said in his life, and not simply for the sake of instructing them, but as though thirsting to share with all men and all creation his joy and ecstasy, and once more in his life to open up his whole heart.”

-The Brothers Karamazov

An urgent need exists to find the secret garden, a way to ripen our fruits of life and create our spiritual paths, suitable only and just for us. There are no masters and no teachers, there in no one who could give us any special advice. 

You are alone. 

Opening the door of the secret garden helps us in realising and confronting that awful truth about the utter loneliness when it comes to our sacred life and non-materialistic knowledge. It helps us in throwing off all the cultural rags from our inner bodies, all the lies and petty excuses and simply start walking, clean and prepared through the nature and through the cycles of life and death.

Eternity can be found both in life and death.